Your Arms are my Castle
by CloisLover94
Summary: Superman gets reminded of why he serves a purpose from the one woman who makes everything better at the end of a hard night. Being Superman is about more than saving lives, it's about giving hope.


**Summary: **Superman gets reminded of why he serves a purpose from the one woman who makes everything better at the end of a hard night.

**Rating: **General K+

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. Superman/ Smallville characters belong to Alfred Gough/ Miles Miller/ Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel

**Your arms are My Castle**

It was the middle of the night as Superman swept in through his window, a slight breeze emanating into the room as he stood still, in the middle of the den, taking a deep breath, relieved to be home, but a certain weight in his chest made the pain all too unbearable. Thankful he was finally home, he changed into his regular clothes and quietly crept into his room. Simply watching her sleep somberly on her side. He began to envy her peaceful sleep, for he felt it would be impossible to sleep after what he had just gone through. A sob broke into his chest as he fought past it and pinched the bridge of his nose, flashes of the events occurred just moments before were haunting his mind. Clark slowly crawled into bed and laid behind her, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her as close to his body as he can, feeling warmth from her body course through his. Stirring in her sleep, Lois continued to rest as Clark buried his face in her hair, nuzzling into her neck as he continued to lie in bed with her, unable to sleep. Lois felt herself wake from her sleep as she snuggled closer to Clark. She entwined their hands together and whispered softly while her eyes were still closed, "Hey baby, I missed you..."

Clark sighed and kissed her shoulder, "I missed you too honey." Letting out a deep breath, he laid his cheek against hers.

"How many saves did Superman make today..." She asked softly, slowly falling back to sleep. Clark stayed silent for a long while and Lois sensed he wasn't going to answer her, "Clark?" Her eyes slowly opened as they adjusted to the darkness.

Clark hushed her, kissing the back of her head, "Go back to sleep baby, I didn't want to wake you."

Furrowing her brows, Lois turned around to face Clark as he kept his arms tightly around her waist. Their faces were inches from each other as Lois felt his breath against her. Lois brought one hand up and gently cupped his face, stroking his cheek, noticing the distress on his face, worry took over her as she asked, "Smallville, what happened?"

Clark swallowed hard, leaning his forehead against hers, "I can't... Lois I can't..."

Lois ran her fingers through his dark hair, "Clark... talk to me please... you know I'm here. I'm right here..." She realized how broken he looked, something had happened tonight and it was beginning to scare her.

Sighing, Clark closed his eyes against her touch, "There was a family going on a camping trip tonight in Illinois. It was a stormy night so they lost control of the car and it flipped over. I got to the scene... and every single body was scattered across the road. There were no other cars in sight, it was just them. I got them all to the nearest hospital..." He swallowed hard, unable to continue.

Lois waited for him to continue, "Clark... it's okay." She whispered.

Letting out a deep breath, Clark winced at the memory, "The mom and the dad were lying on the road, limp, the oldest daughter managed to make it out, she was the only one conscious. Their fourteen year old boy had his legs stuck under the car, and their youngest daughter, was still inside the car. I carefully got the girl out of the car and her sister took care of her while I lifted the car off the boy. I took them all to the hospital... and only the eldest daughter survived. She lost her mother, her brother, her sister and..." Clark choked up, "She had to make the decision to take her father off ventilation after having him resuscitated four times. She watched her entire family die..." He buried his face in her neck as Clark breathed heavily.

Lois' lips parted as the shock of his night overwhelmed her. She hugged his face tightly against hers as tears formed in her eyes, "Oh Clark... I'm so sorry..." She choked out.

Clark let a single tear fall down his cheek as he spoke ever so softly, "It was her birthday tonight. Her family decided to take her camping for her 18th birthday." Lois squeezed her eyes shut as she continued to hug him tightly, "Why is the world so screwed up Lois?" He said in a strained voice, "I fight hard... I mean I really fight hard to try and make this world a better place, to try and save as many people as I can... I've gotten rid of alien threats and nuclear attacks... then this girl's life is completely shattered, her entire family is taken away from her in a car crash, in a blink of an eye and... what the hell was the point... I mean if I had only gotten there seconds later-"

"Clark" Lois grabbed his face with both her hands and made him look at her through the darkness, "You can't hate yourself for this. That girl's life will be forever changed from this... but if you hadn't gotten there at all, she would've lost her life along with her family. The fact that she's still alive today proves how much of a survivor she is. And she has you to be grateful for-"

"For what?" Clark said in disbelief, "What the hell does she have me to be grateful for? For not saving the rest of her family? For helping live the rest of her life alone?"

Lois swallowed hard, "For being given a second chance at a life that she's barely lived. Yes, it's going to be hard for her to move on, to think of anything else to live for at this moment. But I believe she is a fighter, and the fact that you were there for her, holding her hand throughout the entire ordeal is what she has to be grateful for Clark. She wasn't alone when her life shattered around her... she had you. She had Superman to hold her when she cried..."

Clark shook his head, "Lois you don't understand... To her I will always be the guy who didn't save her family. I'm the guy who didn't come in time." He closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers as he stifled a sob, "Once she made the decision to let go of her father... she... I tried to talk to her, tell her how sorry I was... she let it all out, she gave me what I deserved. She kept yelling 'Why did you have to save me', she told me I was her brother's hero and I didn't save him, her mother still had so much to teach her about life and I didn't save her, her sister was so excited to finally start High School... and I didn't save her. And her father... he was her Superman... he was her hero, and I didn't save him."

Lois tightened her arms around him, "Clark... you know how it feels to lose someone you love... of course she's going to find someone to blame at this moment... she's angry but you know that's her way of grieving." She caressed his face softly with her hand, "Honey... I know you hate hearing this but even if you can't save everyone... you saved one tonight. And that's all it takes. It's going to take some time."

Clark swallowed hard as the thoughts that had been going on in his head had throughout the entire night he watched as that girl's family had been ripped away from her, "Would you..." Lois blinked as Clark tried to continue, "Would you still love me Lois... if I wasn't Superman anymore?" Her lips parted at his question, Clark sighed as he sat up, "I don't know if I can do this anymore Lo..." Lois slowly sat up, wrapping her arms around Clark from behind. As he held her hands in his, his heart was aching to have saved that family, to have just arrived before the car was about to crash. Why didn't he make it on time? Why couldn't he save them all?! "I just need to know that I'll have you no matter what." He turned his face to the side, "I just need to know that you'll still love me if I wasn't Superman anymore."

Lois furrowed her brows as she listened to the crack in his voice, the exhaustion, his tense muscles, as she unwound her arms, and turned his head to face her completely. Looking into his eyes in the dark, she sighed, shaking her head, "Smallville I can't answer that... You know I'd still love you if you were just an average farm boy but... I can't answer you. I can't say yes... not if agreeing to be with you will make it okay to give up a part of yourself, if you give up a gift that only someone with as great a heart as you would use to help others. I can't tell you that it's okay if you stop being Superman. But I can't tell you that I won't love you if you were just Clark Kent." Clark dipped his head down, as Lois wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with the curls on the base of his throat, "Clark... something tragic happened tonight. One minute a girl turns into an adult, the next minute... the first decision she makes as an adult is to take her father off of life support. Throughout that one flash of a moment her whole life changed. And now more than ever she's going to need to fight to keep on living and she'll have you in the back of her mind... you know why?" She wiped a tear that escaped the corner of his eye, "Because you let her blame you for everything and you just took it because that's what she needed at that moment. She needed that sort of punching bag who also gave her comfort in knowing that somehow someway, everything was going to be okay. She leaned on you more than ever at that moment. She needed you to be that person for her Clark... in a way you did EVERYTHING you could to help her." She stayed silent for a moment as she caressed his hair, "And when the time comes for her to finally accept what's happened, she'll realize that you tried. You tried to save her family... and for that she's lucky because if you didn't try. If someone like you hadn't shown up tonight... she would still be lying on that roadside right now waiting for help... waiting for some kind of absolution as she sat by the road alone, wondering if anyone was going to come save her... if any kind of hope would come find her. You were her hope Clark. And if you weren't that hope for her, who knows what would've happened to her." She swallowed hard as she felt her throat close up, "If you stopped being Superman, if you just gave up that part of you that the world needs... there will be millions waiting by the side of the road waiting for hope to find them... and I'm not sure if you can live with yourself if you stopped being that hope for them honey... so I guess the real question is... would YOU love you if you weren't Superman anymore?"

After a long moment of silence, Clark kept his head down in her arms as he listened to her calm, soothing heartbeat... the one symbol of hope that kept him going when being Superman. Finally lifting his head up, Clark's eyes met hers, as she brought her hand up to cup his face he leaned in to it, kissing her palm, "I love you so much..." He whispered. Lois didn't reply as she waited. Clark looked up at her again, moving a lock of her hair away from her face. Letting out a sigh, he replied, "No... I wouldn't." She gave him a warm smile.

"She's going to get through this Clark... and it's good to know she has a guardian angel looking after her... and no matter what, her family is with her no matter what. Just like your father is with you, and my mother is with me... the pain's always gonna be there... but it helps to know we have each other to make it hurt less. And soon she'll find someone like that too... but I'm sure this girl's a survivor... it'll take time, but she'll get through this..." She continued running her fingers through his hair.

The corner of his mouth slowly curved up, into a faint smile as he wrapped his arms around her waist, "So what happens now? What do I do now that I know how much she's suffering..." Lois saw his distant look, "I can hear her crying in the hospital... her grandmother's with her... but it's not the same... it's never gonna be the same for her." His voice cracked as he spoke, "How can I keep going knowing how much her heart is breaking. What do i do now?"

Lois took a slow deep breath, "Right now, I'm going to remind you of the five perfect seconds you had before you left to go be Superman tonight..." She leaned in and gently captured his lips with hers, with Clark letting himself melt in her gentle kiss that lasted for five long seconds. Those five seconds he took to kiss her goodnight before he left to try and save that family by the side of the road a mere few hours ago. Once she let go, Lois leaned her forehead against his, "And now that those five perfect seconds are up, you have to do what you do best. You go be her hope Clark. Go and make sure that she's going to be alright, and let her know that she'll get through this... Be her Superman... be her dad for tonight."

Clark stifled a sob as he hugged his wife close to him, his greatest strength. The one who made it all better, the one who gave him hope when all else gave up on him. He held her for a long moment as he relished in gratitude for having a woman like Lois Lane in his life. To be loved by someone like her, "Thank you Lois." He said in a soft whisper. With that he slowly got up out of bed and changed into his Superman uniform, the uniform that reminds him why he protects and serves his planet. He was meant for greatness, whether it's to save a life, or to make sure that life he saved will be given the comfort she needs to keep on living. He looked back at his wife as she smiled up at him, hugging her knees, "I love you Lois."

She nodded up at him, "I love you Clark. Now go give hope to people who need it. Go give that girl hope that it's going to be okay..."

**The End.**


End file.
